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Jorge-052
Jorge-052 was the Heavy Weapons Guy in Halo: Reach. Jorge was one of the more useful members of all of Noble Team (that's not saying much), because of his badass gun. Jorge killed a total of 12,000,000 Covenant troops with his bare hands. But Bungie killed him off, because they liked pissing off their fans occasionaly. Early Life Jorge was born in an obscure country on Earth. From a young age, Jorge liked to eat Sandvich and kick people. He enjoyed life, which included massive amounts of Sandvich. His parents never really loved him, and bought him a dog house for him to live in so they could see him less. One day, Jorge was urinating on a cripple, when some ONI scientists kidnapped him using the clever method of candy, and crying because they lost their dog. Team Nibble/Reach Jorge was trained each day to work hard and play right, and eat a balanced breakfast. After the ONI scientists made him a SPARTAN, they gave him a minigun and let him go around killing grunts and peaceful prostestors. One day, Jorge accidently fired his minigun for twelve seconds, and wasted 400,000 dollars worth of ammunition. The Office of Naval Intelligence was so angry, they cut off his toes and sent him to hang out with the crappy SPARTAN 3's. Jorge had a fun time on Reach, because they let him fire his minigun at random objects. He hated all of Noble Team except for Noble Six, because Noble Six also had his toes cut off. The two became fast friends, wasting tons of ammunition shooting at Moas, speeding down the highway while drinking tons of alcohol, and editing Wikipedia. When the Covenant arrived at Reach, Jorge fought and killed thousands of troops, because he made a deal with Bungie not to be scripted to die. Spire The UNSC and the Covenant were having a huge battle, but Jorge was passed out drunk on the floor for most of the battle. When he woke up, Jorge picked up his best buddy, Noble Six, and they flew towards a spire to destroy it. Along the way, they spammed grenades and fired miniguns at Grunts . Oonce they reached the Spire, Jorge said that they should be careful of the EMP field. The falcon pilot had an IQ of four and drove straight in, causing an EMP and crashing the Falcon. This killed all the Army members, and Jorge simply said "da." Jorge and Six then proceeded to massacre every Covenant member in their way as they made their way to the Spire. On the way, the two found a truck and drove it straight to the Spire. Jorge fired his minigun and took out most of the Elites and Grunts, and Jackholes, and...everything else. Noble Six then jumped out of the truck and got to the teleporter and went to the top of the Spire. Jorge then went on a super killing spree, firing MAC rounds at various Grunt Hipsters. Noble Six then shut down the EMP Shield surrounding the Spire with his wang as Carter showed up with another Falcon. Jorge found that every spot was taken, and then smashed the heads of all the Marines inside the Falcon. They proceeded to go to the top of the Spire and pick up Six. As the flew away, Jorge and Boble Six noted that it was raining men and Carter ordered some stupid frigate to destroy the Spire. Well, the frigate was going to kick some religious extremist ass but then some Super Carrier showed up and destroyed the Frigate. Jorge and Noble Six took pictures while it happened. Death Jorge took part in a top secret mission to destroy a huge Covenant ship in which Noble Six and him delivered a huge slipspace drive onto the ship. After murdering the Covenant Choir and all the Marines, Jorge realized that the useless bird they flew in on was severly damaged, because the Marines set it on fire mistaking it for Master Chief. Jorge then told Noble Six that he loved being on Reach, and he told Noble Six to go and "proclaim the News of Sandvich." Jorge then threw Noble Six into space, where he expected Noble Six to not land in the water, or on a Covenant base, or on another ship, or in a battlefield. Jorge then activated the slipspace drive, sacrificing him, 900,000,000,000,000,000 armor piercing rounds (which he carried everywhere) and his huge gun. He succesfuly destroyed the huge Covenant ship, but then four more showed up, just to piss him off. Legacy Jorge is commemerated by thousands of X-Box fanboys with their gamertags and mottos. Noble Team held a two minute funeral service with a priest and stuff. Trivia * Jorge is really a Grunt, that's what his backpack thingy is there for - it's his methane tank. * Jorge was killed off by Bungie first because he was caught playing PS3 - betraying Xbox. * Jorge is really Russian, but speaks Hungarian. * Jorge may still be alive because he's cool. * Jorge and Emile hate each other, possible since both have overpowered weapons and neither can be better than the other. * Jorge's gun can fire rockets and MAC rounds. He just never uses them. The reason he never uses them is because he wants his enemies to suffer. The other reason is because Bungie told him "you can use the rockets and MAC's on priority targets...such as Trash Cans." Category:Spartans Category:Bosses Category:Epic Shit Category:People who are old Category:Dead people